RagHag Diva

Dissecting all the weekly trash celebrity magazines so YOU don't have to!

Monday, September 26, 2005

Britney's Name Game - Star gets it WRONG!

One of my predictions came through. Star reported that Britney spawned "Preston Michael Spears Federline at 12:57 p.m. on Sept. 14 in an enormous suite at the posh UCLA Medical Center in Santa Monica, Calif."

Oops, they fucked up again! Baby Federline's name is Sean Preston Federline. I have to throw mad props to Britney for naming her son a normal, if somewhat boring, name. It's refreshing that she chose not to name her offspring after a city, profession or fruit.

Whomever wrote this story (there are five authors listed for the three-page tome) has obviously never had a c-section, or known anyone to have a c-section, or knows anything about the birthing process at all, evident in the first line of the article:

Her flushed cheeks still glowing with perspiration, the exhausted new mom watched blissfully as her beautiful baby's excited dad cut the umbilical cord and grandma snapped a picture.

Okay folks. This was a planned c-section, meaning she was not in active labor when she had the procedure. So why is she "glowing with perspiration" and "exhausted"? Obviously, the labor and delivery rooms must be on the top floor of the hospital, and the elevators must have been out of commission. Or maybe Brit wanted to get a jump on getting back in shape. Either way, she must have ran up the flights of stairs and immediately jumped on the gurney and had herself wheeled into the OR. Idiots.

Star also gets the quote of the week award in the same story:

Adds a source close to Kevin: "He's just as happy as can be with his new son! Kevin told me, 'My son is a gangsta, man! The first time I held him in my arms, he peed on me! I had to change my shirt!' He got a kick out of it."

Awww. Such sweet words for his newborn son. As Star tends to be liberal with the idea of truth, the reader can choose which "facts" to believe and which to discard as utter absurtity. This one I choose to believe.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny tidbit on Gwennie. She annoys me.

7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooh! I had the exact same thoughts about her "flushed cheeks". I call BS on that AND the cutting the cord thing.

11:29 PM  

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