RagHag Diva

Dissecting all the weekly trash celebrity magazines so YOU don't have to!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Introduction or I Have a Confession...

Hello. My name is RagHag Diva. And I'm a celebritytrashmagazineaholic.

It all started years ago innocently enough, with People. I was young, looking for a little escape from my humdrum predictable 9-5 grind.

Then Us came along and my addiction grew. Ah, the joys of competition! The juicier stories, the brighter and more compromising photos - O the Pretty Colors! I get misty just thinking of the innocence of those days.

As the celebrity gossip industry grew, so did my habit. I am now at a peak of seven rags a week. I tried to gain control over this publicist-created monkey on my coffee table (and bedside table, bathroom floor, etc.) by buying a subscription. I could at least save a bit of cash by buying in bulk. I started small, with one tiny subscription to the icon of all celebrity rags - the one that started my demise: People.

Then the problem began. I paid my $110.77 and waiting anxiously by my mailbox. It arrived. On Saturday. If you are a true junkie, you see my problem. For all you newbies - let me explain.

People arrives on the news stands on Fridays.

I went an entire 24 hours knowing that my precious fix was there, man. It was there, and I was foolishly waiting by my mailbox. It was the worst 24 hours of my life. I wouldn't wish that on even Britney Spears.

So the next week, I did what any true raghag would do. I got in my car, inserted the keys in the ignition with my shaking hand, and went to get my sweet sweet stash.

I repeated this every week until the subscription ran out. I hit bottom, paying twice for product that was old, stale, worthless. It was then that I crumbled and admitted my personal demon.

My name is RagHag Diva. And I'm a celebritiytrashmagazineaholic.

What? Oh, I'm not giving them up. Oh no, my friends. I will still be purchasing these worthless pieces of truthless trash as long as they keep publishing them. But I will save You, dear reader, the $19.73+tax a week by posting the juciest of the juicy - recaps of the best stories just for you! I will also be keeping track of those "facts" which turn out to be just blatant lies (i.e. Angelina was NOT impregnated by Bradley. She was adopting her latest addition to her Benneton family portrait). And I will be highlighting the most ridiculous items of the week. Don't worry, fellow hags - I cover them all - from the upper echelons of People and Us, to the trashiest of the trash - Star, Life&Style, and everything in between. And don't worry, every time a new one is released (which seems like a weekly occurrance) I'll be on top of it, so you don't have to.

As you will shortly see, like any true addict, I have a love-hate relationship with my drug of choice. I can't read these things without swelling with indignation, condescension and superiority. I, as most junkies, am better than my drug. But yet, every Friday either I go, or I send my enabling husband, to get my weekly fix. And I am satisfied. Until Thursday night. Then, the itch starts again.

I am Raghag Diva. And I'm a celebritiytrashmagazineaholic. Welcome to my nightmare.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Auntie P. said...

Hey, I sent a comment and they say there are none. Didn't you get email about my celebrity question? So, this is my third attempt!

9:44 PM  
Anonymous mot said...

Great site Amy. Keep the news coming.

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Sue said...

Thanks for keeping me abreast of what's happenin'!

Sue

4:29 AM  
Blogger RagHag Sister said...

hey RagHag -- story of the day -- Kate Moss is dumping her coke head boyfriend -- http://www.gigwise.com/news.asp?contentid=8630 -- I know this is more a UK story -- so it might not even show up in your rags-- just thought i would give you a heads up

6:39 AM  

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