RagHag Diva

Dissecting all the weekly trash celebrity magazines so YOU don't have to!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Did you hear what Nick said to Jessica last week?

Let's make like a banana and SPLIT!

As I discussed in a breaking news item, Us Magazine reported on their cover that our generation's Sonny and Cher, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, have parted ways. You don't have to buy every celebrity magazine to have seen this coming - you just have to go to the grocery store and read the weekly headlines. Jessica's flirting with co-stars. Nick is eating dinner with European female singing sensations. Jessica's not wearing her ring - AGAIN. Nick gets too close to a stripper at a bachelor party. This relationship has been in the dumper for a good long time.

Yet they still deny the breakup. But this time, I think it's the real deal.

Why would you say such an awful, awful thing, Raghag? Glad you asked. It wasn't anything written in the Us story - it was a photograph of Nick taken on September 28 holding a Starbucks in one hand, his keys in the other. But, alas - no ring.

So we know ditzy Jessica has 'forgotten' her ring by her bedside on several occassions. But this is the first time Nick has been photographed without his. I think it means something.

Also, he skipped his sister-in-law hair-extension freak Ashlee's 21st birthday. And, the couple were close friends with Jamie-Lynn (aka Meadow Soprano) and AJ DiScala who recently broke up. Now Nick and AJ have been partying, and Jessica has stopped answering when asked about Nick.

Star printed an interview with a 19-year old college student claiming she made out with Nick at an Embassy Suites. Can you believe how dirty, how disgusting - I mean, an Embassy Suites, for the love of god. She took a lie detector test and passed. Seriously, this was just kissing. He told her they could go as far as she wanted, and she only went as far as the tongue becuase he was married and that would be wrong. So, according to this Ohio State genius, frenchin ain't cheatin. Don't go telling my husband those rules - cuz I've convinced him that just thinking about it crosses a line, okay? And I want to keep it that way, thank you.

These two are over. And now, an online website has stopped bets on their marriage, due to suspicious wagers.

Those online betting things always get things right. Bet on this rumor being true.

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