RagHag Diva

Dissecting all the weekly trash celebrity magazines so YOU don't have to!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


There are so many things wrong with this picture, I don't even know where to begin. As I am the proud mother of Baby Diva, who is about 9 months older than Sean P., I declare myself an offical expert.

1. Baby Sean P. is facing forward. All new carseats declare all over the directions that babies are supposed to be in rear-facing carseats until they are 20 lbs. AND a year old. AND - not OR. So even if Baby Sean P. is over 20 lbs. at 8 months, he still should be in a rear-facing carseat for four more months. Why? Cuz if she gets into a wreck, he'll totally be thrusted forward, and as you can see, his neck muscles are not strong enough to sustain such injury. Which brings me to...

2. His neck. Yes, when babies sleep in their carseats, they tend to flop over. But this is insanity. First, if he was in a rear-facing carseat, this wouldn't be an issue, because the seat would be tilted in such a way that it wouldn't flop over like that. Second, babies with weak neck muscles are supposed to have a head cradling pillow around the head so flopping doesn't occur. He may be too big for the cradles that are out there - they are usually meant for newborns. But what we did for Baby Diva was take some swaddling blankets, rolled them up, and surrounded his head with them. Of course, he was in a rear-facing carseat.

3. Baby Sean P.'s right shoulder is clearly not strapped in securly. See how it's flopped forward? That's not right. It's hard to say if he's even strapped in at all - but assuming he is, the straps have clearly not been tightened enough. Both shoulders have to be secured to the seat. If she got in a wreck, he'd be airborne faster than her career is going down the shitter.

4. Who in their right mind would put a 8 month old baby in a front-facing carseat in a convertible? There are so many things wrong with this. One, if she got in a wreck, the kid would definitely be roadkill. Second, the sun exposure could burn that delicate soft baby skin to a crispy bacon consistency. He needs a hat, long-sleeves, sunscreen. Third, babies don't like wind blowing in their faces. It makes them lose their breath - difficult to breathe that way. We still don't put Baby Diva's window down, but that's because he'd probably lose it on us and scream like a monkey being attacked by a sloth bear. Regardless, convertibles + babies = bad fucking idea.

5. Curlers???????

Here's the thing that really gets me - sure, people make parenting mistakes all the time. Most of them don't lead to major injury, or that's all we'd be hearing about on the local news. But Britwit already has two strikes against her: Strike One - driving with Baby Sean P. on her lap; Strike Two - Baby Sean P.'s nosedive out of the highchair. This is definitely Strike Three. Too bad parenting doesn't follow the rules of baseball. But here's the difference between Briwit and the rest of the awful parents out there - the awful parents aren't being photographed every second of their lives. She must KNOW she's scrutinized. Shouldn't she go out of her way to do everything correct, so people like me will be forced to make fun of OTHER stupid celebrities?

She should shape up, or stay behind locked doors. It's a win-win, really.


Anonymous mot said...

I am so thankful Rag Hag brought this picture of bad parenting to light again. I am even more grateful that Rag Hag has proven to be a responsible mother. Keep up the good work and remember babies aren't supposed to eat McDonald's- what?

6:17 AM  
Blogger RagHag Diva said...

I thought french fries qualify as a vegetable. They're potatoes, right? There you go.

8:53 AM  

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